Monday, December 22, 2008

Black Books

Customer: Excuse me?
Bernard: What? What!?
Customer: Do you have anything by Adam Philips?
Bernard: How would I know? Go to a proper bookshop
Customer: Look... there is no other way to say this, but I didn't come here to be insulted!
Bernard: Well, I didn't ask for the job of insulting you. You know, in another life, maybe we could have been brothers, running a small quirky taverna in Sicily. Maybe we would have married the local twins, instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump. But it was not to be... so hop it!


Fran: So what's it like then? The fags and booze.
Bernard: Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking you do sometimes look at yourself and think...
Fran: yep..
Bernard: you know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...
Fran: yep....
Bernard: .... "this is fantastic. I'm in heaven."

Bernard: Do you eat? I do. Do you want to do it in the same room, sometime?

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Pondering & Feelings

I fear i got a bit carried away by dreams and thoughts.. as usual. 
And fever doesn't help, for what that matters.. shame.
I should really have learned my lesson by now: DON'T dream over people. 
Just don't. 
Cose reality is gonna hurt a lot more when u compare it to dreams.
Pretty straightforward, isn't it?
Then why can't I just remember it? 

John Barleycorn must die

Sunday, November 23, 2008

...DAY-DREAMING...

"... because only in dream and death, oh my poor old man, we can find ourselves..."

Good old Cesare is always right, isn't he? 
We find ourselves only in death, I dare say. And in dream, because dreaming is death. It doesn't kill, it is death itself. The moment u start dreaming u enter the kingdom of death. U find yourself and struggle back, each time a little bit stronger. Each time having lost sth in the process. 
Dreaming is a sweet sweet suicide, that can be reversed if u wish so. 
This past week has been a dreamy week. 
And now I find myself in Ade.
With an essay to write 
and my spirit crying to leave me. 

...back to earth then... 

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Road Not Taken

I increasingly find myself not able to take a decision. Not that I was ever able to do so, but lately this wonderful inability has become a problem. Well, not a real problem. My life goes on smoothly even if I decide that I can't be asked and I'll just go on ignoring that I should have been making important decision. (sounds like a joke, I decide not to the decide.. mmm..) 
Robert Frost keeps up the illusion that my choices have a poetic dimension. But again, they usually involve choosing stuff like "shall I go to a play or to my friend's birthday party?" It's perfectly clear to me which one would be the road less travelled by, but it is at least as clear that if I take it that decision is not gonna make any difference. 
So now, I have to road diverging in front of me.. the less travelled by and the easy one. My contorted and masochist mind would say go straight for the less travelled by and the world can fuck off.. while my kanckered body and lazy heart would rather go for an easy peasy walk, perhaps even with the company of someone to talk to... 
Dilemma. 


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;        5
 
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,        10
 
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.        15
 
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


"I exercise the right not to walk."

Thursday, November 13, 2008

SBA

Got the idea.
Got all excited about it. Just like I was for the arch&anth dinner last year.
Started working for it (just because I was unable to concentrate on anything else).
Called for people to help around or at least show a tiny little bit of interested.
Got really crossed cose none seemed interested as much as I am.
Still excited. Still crossed.
Still willing to fight for it even if it will mean a massive crisis like last year and a massive amount of courage.
Still feeling lonely in my fight.
Because I'm not a person of action. I'm the one who sit there and contemplate and wait for the inspiration to write a poem.
But I've learned that u can't just wait for your dreams to magically realized.
U have to fight for them
And I will.
Fight.
Even if I don't like it.
Even if I'd rather sit and wait. and cry.
I'll get it done.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

TOP 10

Top 10 people in the world...
well, the 10 people I admire the most or keep the best memory of...or just think are great..


1. Meave Leakey
2. Jane Goodall
3. Marta Mirazon Lahr (God know why she keeps that surname)
3. Robert Foley
5. Jay Stock
6. Francesco Guccini
7. Adam Jones
8. Massimo Bonola (nonostante tutto)
9. Gobetti (and all the partisans)
10. James Galway

Thursday, October 30, 2008

FRIDGE MAGNET POEM

I've hoped, against hope,
one last time.
I've rejoiced in the happy illusion
and my heart cried with disappointment
when the evidence
(damned reality so crude and dry!)
proved I was wrong.
What now?
It's not a big deal
I know how to rise again from the ground
bring on Baccus and Tobaccus,
bring on happy desperation,
bring on life!

Song of the day,

Massimo di Cataldo, "se adesso te ne vai."

Sunday, October 26, 2008

ESSAY BREAK

... bored of un-identified australopithecine bones I've opted for something slightly more fun. It goes like this: do u remember Amelie? the very beginning, when the voice lists 3 things that Amelie's parents love and hate.. I've always thought it is a good way of describing a person, u get a detailed idea of that person's personality (far too many "person" in this sentence...) only through what they like or not. so here we go.. Marghe's 3 Love & Hate

Love
pulling little stone out of my shoes soles (preferably with a pen)
smoking outside fitz at night and having small conversations with drunk fitzbillies who walk in in gown
waking up in the middle of the night getting the feeling I'm the only person awake in the world and stalk out of the window to see Fitz asleep

Hate
painted feet finger nails
getting the feeling to have done sth wrong
being forced to avoid people.

Of course there's a lot more to it.. but I did have only 3 spaces.. I'll write another list pretty soon...

John Barleycorn must die

Sunday, October 19, 2008

CHAOS

Good old cambridge, good old chaos.
Looks like I'm not able to stay in the same place for longer than a few months. Not that I dislike it but I feel I could hurt people around me.
Point is: people just bore me. After a while. Whenever I get the feeling somebody is getting close enough to "touch my heart" (just not to quote Patty...) I turn round and run. Fact. And right before running I do all that is in my power to hurt that person, and show how cold, cruel, vicious and unpleasant I can be. So that I leave only surprise and a nasty taste behind me. And then, as said , I run. Fact.
people always try to make me stay, or at least understand. Waste of time.
I myself have tried to understand, but no explanation is satisfactory.
I'm like the dog that lets u stroke him until your face is close enough and then bites. Right there.

CAVE CANEM

John Barleycorn must die

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

HOME

back in the Bridge. Not much to say actually.. just that I'm increasingly realizing how much my life is driven by feelings and sensations.. I definitely make my choices only (well, almost only ) on the basis of feelings I get when I visit a place or meet someone. Going back to the LCHES today I felt home, a weird feeling tbh, and suddenly remembered how I've always felt home in that place. ergo, I probably chose to do bioanth just because of the feeling I get from that friendly environment... but, it is a good way of making choices? and most of all, will I always be able to find places where I feel home so much?
God knows..
... bioanth is the way forward for the time being tho!

John Barleycorn must die.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

DE OZIO

I increasingly find myself staring at my laptop without really doing anything apart from being jealous of other people's exotic holidays, and listening to Kid Rock (btw, his last album is just awesome!!!) ... I get the feeling I should be doing sth productive, and clearly remember I did have a plan including loads of jogging and at least as much reading.. I do get excited in front of next term's lectures and think "oh yehay, I'm gonna to all the reading right now, and maybe even go through some of the lecture notes!! they are just too cool.." but then I do nothing but sleeping and waiting for watching Wanted.. It might be that it's too hot to move or even think but I really get the feeling I'm wasting my time, and still don't have the strength to react and do sth with it!!! I keep thinking I'll start tomorrow... but a month has come and past and tomorrow has yet to come....... I'm just lazy. I need cambridge to become productive... but cambridge won't come until october....................

right.. tomorrow I'll do sth productive, I swear! It's monday, always a good day to start....

Saturday, June 14, 2008

LAME

It's not only because I got a terribly painful swollen foot at the moment.. but sometimes I really get the feeling I'm behind. I'm limping behind the others like an old pirates with a wooden leg.
It's not really true.. I know that I aim for to much.. reaching for the moon makes u forget that there is a planet under your feet, but when I do realize I need to walk on this ground I feel like I'm an outsider.
and I am perhaps.
some people just know how to succeed, I just don't. I live in my dreams, love them and take for granted that reality should be like them. keep forgetting that reality is just the good old crap. should I stop dreaming? seems like a solution. but not for me.
my dreams are my fuel. the only consolation when the monster inside me turns alive and nothing else could help.
I expect friends to understand.. but they can't.. who could?
Not even I get the meaning of all this. I simply live with it. But can't ask other people to share with me.. I know I can't. would be far too cruel. and yet I keep getting cross if people aren't able to understand, respect.. I get crossed when I find mediocrity in people I spend my time with.
I'm even starting to think I'm infinitely superior to the rest of the world (or at least well different). and that's bad. I'm still waiting for somebody like me... does this person exist? perhaps not..
perhaps I should just be content with what I got....
perhaps not

Monday, June 09, 2008

SABRINA

Maybe the Moon is reaching for me this time.
Not saying that it will come down the sky for me.
But at the moment I feel like I'm flying up to the sky without reaching for anything..
.. just flying.

And the Moon will notice. Maybe. Nothing is impossible.

Dritti alla meta e coquista la preda!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

SYMBOLS

What restrains me? Same old fears. Same old idiocy. I've been deceiving myself with a promise of courage. No way. I'm still the good old loser. And so? Am I gonna win myself this time? Am I gonna fight this battle and prove myself I'm different? I will. But not for me. No. I'll do it for a dream. A dream which is clearly impossible, out of reach. I'm reaching for the moon, again. And the moon won't come to me. Even if I win this battle. It will still be there.. miles away from me. What's the sense of all this then? What am I fighting for? What I'm trying to reach. I know it's impossible. I know...
But I keep fooling my weak mind with promises of happiness. Is that right. I don't know.. but it's my fuel, my dream, my direction. And I'll follow it. Cose I feel it's the right direction. Even if the moon won't come down the sky for me.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

LOVE LIFE

I'm rather pissed off.
with myself first of all.. I should have known my limits, should have remembered that I'm crap at organizing even my own life, should have known I'm fragile and unstable and under stress even if I pretend I'm not.
what was I thinking when I decided to put myself in this?
I'm sure it's gonna work at the end.. but I should have left the job to somebody stronger.

with people secondly.. there's no much they can do.. but they look/sound rather disinterested.. again, should have remembered people can't be bothered, which is a good strategy for survival, but risk sometimes keeps u alive and have a better pay off in the long term (if u don't fail miserably in between, of course..) I like to think that I'm taking a risk... and failing, as usual, but at least I'm doing sth.

with Liz, as a third term of this equation. Because friends are those who dry your tears, and are there when u need help. U can't have my friendship if all that is for u is a biscuit and being silly. Grow up woman, stop giggling and thinking only to your stomach and self-existence. generosity and maturity. that's what u lack.. U can live well enough without them but remember that people get annoyed after having noticed that there's nothing more than childish behaviour that u can offer.

I take it as a test, It's my fault, fair enough, but I will win this challenge and get my price. I don't care. I'll stop being nice and patient I'll be nasty, selfish and get what I want. end of story!!

and Thanks to Bella and Katie for cheering me up and being generally amazing!!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

ROMEO & JULIET



I have a dream...
... no body is dreaming it for me, tho
therefore it can't be real...
... u need to be 2 to make a dream real
dreaming together is reality...
... dreaming alone is port and cigarettes
and I can fall only for chain of gold...
... chain of silver is not shining enough
I can't do the talk like they do on tv...
... I don't wanna be that banal
I'm reaching for the moon...
... and the moon keep her sky
and doesn't move down...
... and doesn't look at me
perhaps it's better like this...
... but I'm in pain,
pain for the man of the moon..
...and my broken heart
cries silent tears of hope...
... and all I do is kiss u through the bars of a rime
and dream my dream for u...

Saturday, April 19, 2008

CAMBRIDGE

How many post did I already write with this title? millions probably... who cares?
God didn't save Italy, but saved me! I'm back, determined to rock this term! amazing how only 5 weeks made me forget I much I love staying up until 1 am (when early) chatting with friends, and then walking in the rain and get all shining; rolling down hill to sansbury; going to the buttery; walking through Fitz feeling as home as I've never felt; laughing a lot; playing darts in the bar; decorating my room; unpacking with the feeling of being starting sth new and yet great; checking facebook hundreds times in half an hour... and so on... I simply love Cambridge!!! what more can I say?!
nothing, Cambridge says everything.
glad to be back!

Friday, April 11, 2008

ELECTIONS...

Elections should be the way in which citizens of a country express their preference and somehow influence the destiny of the nation. Is it really like that? Not in Italy. Here the main concern is on how to fire the same old, fake faces from our tv screens... here people get over-excited when somebody suggests a good strategy for making the next government last as less as possible and possibly showing those guys that everybody in Italy is tired of them. Encouraging.
Democracy should be the type of government in which people (demos..) govern, and make decision. In Italy, politicians are separated ethnic group, with it's own rules and it's own conception of reality, which is always slightly different from everybody else's point of view. Politicians are the only ones in the whole country that earn an awful lot of money without working, the only ones who still smiles and think that the future is pink. They don't share anything with the rest of the country, I might say they are not Italian.
But coming back to Elections. Choice is between a young good catholic guy who still kisses the hand of the Pope and Mr. Berlusconi who no more than 20 minutes ago proudly affirmed that Italian magistrates have brought 91 actions against him on courts. (at least half of which for corruption). Those bastards. Now, what am I supposed to do? Do we have a solution, or are we condemned to be governed by these people? Is there a way of escaping this (apart from getting a british citizenship right now..) or is this gonna last for ever?
who knows... 24 hours to the elections... God save Italy

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

THE GLASS MENAGERIE

Tonight and only tonight, thanks to the wonderful job of Tennessee Williams and Josh, I realized how much have I changed.. and what a beautiful person I've become. It's not a matter of arrogance, just of self consciousness. I used to be a sort of mixture between the shy desperation of Laura Wingfield and the boiling anger/boredom of her brother. I used to see the world through a gigantic glass menagerie. I used to cry. Now, I'm over it, I'm alive. Now I can sit in a theatre and watch all of it and feel distant, free. I'm out, running in the wind, feeling the sun on my skin, knowing that I'm alive. I am a full, autonomous person. That doesn't mean I'm not crashing into every possible mistake ever, no, but this mean I'm happy to crash into mistakes and not terrified of living anymore.
When I came out of the theatre earlier, I was truly happy and walked up castle mound and looked the world down and felt incredibly powerful. The wind was blowing me away, Cambridge under me was shining of lights and history, and I knew this is my place. This is the place I belong to. It was just waiting for me. Or maybe I was waiting for Cambridge to open my mind and heart and blow away the curtain of depression above my eyes. And I, well I sounded my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

I thought it was over.
It was not.
I thought I was safe.
I was not.
I thought I won myself.
I had not.

I am still, or perhaps, once again,
on the edge of the gorge,
completely alone,
struggling to keep myself up.

Nobody but me can help,
nobody,
and I have not the strength to win
to stay up.
I am slowly sliding down.
down
down
down

Sunday, February 24, 2008

BEPE'S BACK!!!

Back to reality.. back to myself!! oh joy... I am still the old clumsy loser, still the same inveterate dreamer, still Bepe. Despite the appearances, I'm glad of it. Found my self desperately trying to understand other people by supposing they are like me... found myself walking alone imagining situations that will never happen... found myself happy with that!! and yet, if I was confused by the language, I found out that people are the same all over the world, different cultures maybe, but same fears and dreams, if I trust my abilities I still can project myself in other people's mind and understand them without translation and treasure what I've found. I still can do it!!! I have not lost that gift, perhaps my only one... that makes me happy.
That doesn't mean I'll obtain what I'm struggling for, nor that will use my gift to surprise people as I have done in the past... no, this time I'll keep it as my last resource, I deserve to be valued for other features. Still getting to know that I haven't lost my identity make me feel home. Welcome back Bepe...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

DREAMS.....

Once again I need the help of Sigmund Freud to try to give a sense to my twisted psyche... once again, I realize he's damn dead.. so once again I ask people to listen to my weird, silly dreams and give them some kind of interpretation... ready? here it is:

PREMISE: (mmm... being this a public space I won't use real names, and indeed I don't think they matter that much...) Friday night I drunk a little bit too much, lately this always throws me in a silly sad mood, so while everybody is dancing and having fun I seat in a corner and think " bloody island!"... in addition to that there is the annoying fact that I happen to fancy somebody, this always throw me in a silly sad mood, with or without alcohol. Hence, since 1+1=2 friday I was in a particularly silly/sad/jealous mood also due to a considerable number of girls dancing around (and not only around), my Guido of the moment. Fine. I went home, talked and laughed a bit with a friend, he made me knock on Guido's room to say goodnight, I was completely pissed by that time so I just laughed for a solid 10 minutes.... then straight to bed.... and dream.....

DREAM: I've dreamt the exact scene, me and my friend in the corridor, laughing, knocking on Guido's (not heaven's) door...all normal..but the dream went on and Guido said (I don't remember the exact words, it was sth on this line tho..):" Why the hell are you jealous?! even if I appear to fancy one of these girl, is only for one night, keep hoping, you are my future..." Something like that... I'm not even sure my dream was in english...

I've asked my friend who studies psychology but she was just too keen in reassuring me and her interpretation quite fast.. any ideas? thanks a lot

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

LIFE

Just to be in contrast with the latest tendency of this blog... I should be writing an essay about plague and strategies for survival, instead, I'm listening to Ronan Keating and thinking, never mind, I like it this way. Despite the title I get the feeling this post will actually be about death, once again. It will be about strategy for survival as well, in his/my own particular way.
Just about a year a go I was writing " you cannot cancel God from your life only because people you love die.." I do not know if was that sentence that let to all that happened later on, what I know is that particular piece of writing made a friend become such. It was worthy. Now I'd like to say that sentence was wrong, totally wrong. I do believe death, exactly like love, makes one ponder about the deep meaning of life, including God. Only through death and love one can really decide how he/she wants to live and wether or not there is a God. I am, now, dealing with both death and love and struggling like never before to keep me sane, alive, happy... truth is I'm deeply upset. This feeling of total sadness, loneliness, abandonment is permeating every thought and action. I cannot think or concentrate on my work, I am simply lost. I've started this year with the best intentions and expectations, what I got is a series of deaths and bad news. I feel defrauded. I was happy, for the first time in my life. Now I cannot stop crying. Mascie-Talyor said that january is the most common month for committing suicide, it may be true, it may be only the winter and the rain..but it may be not. I do love life more than I've ever done, but I've lost confidence, everything seems again too big for me... I keep saying to myself "go on, this is the right place, you deserve it, all you have to do is relax take a step back and leave Cambridge to do the rest it will save you again and make you a better person, a proper one..." apparently it doesn't work this time... maybe I just need to sleep and take my time.. however, I need to find a way out, right now. I need a strategy for survival, a genetic, social or technological trick to survive this week!!! I need it now. I need a hug as well, a huge long one....I need to cry this all out.. I need to die.. rise the third day...

Friday, February 01, 2008

PEOPLE....

I realize only now how much do people matter in my life... I'm not talking about the sad period of my life in which not knowing myself made me desperately try to copy/become like other people... still, every single great decision in my life has been made because I met somebody who with his/her simple living made me feel deep inside the need to give my life a precise direction, it doesn't matter if that particular resolution lasted for years or just for few minutes, what matters is that some people somehow did change my life! names are too many to remember them all... off top of my head: Cesare Pavese, Cristina, Rebecca, Monica, Sarah, Diego, Fuma, my 2 grandmas, Giovanni (both ones), Massimo Bonola, Adam Jones, my mum, my dad, Don Massimo, Federico, Jay Stock, Alan Macfarlane... and many many others.. I cannot find words enough to thank you all for making me the person I am, for having guided my choices to this place and this life! there is a reason for everything, probably you are the deepest reason of my choices.. thanks...
people do matter a lot in our life, if could only collect all that they have to teach us we would live far better... my resolution remains the same: dedicate my life to people, because they brought me from death to life!
thanks

Saturday, January 26, 2008


MELANCHOLY

I've already demonstrated in my dissertation how melancholy and genius are strictly related being the former the source of the latter... however, I'd like to add that the conviction that you may be a genius doesn't help at all when all your mind and body are filled up with unbearable sadness. Thinking that you may be remembered for ever for your inestimable work of poetry, doesn't make you feel better when you see that you are actually a loser. Real life is a tricky business, that's all I have to say. Being thrown in the world after you've been living only in your mind for ages might be a bit painful from time to time... and I'm slipping, again, in the tortuous ways of my imagination, I'm feeling again how is it like to be in and outside the world at same time, to be lonely like none has never been, to be so weak and yet so powerful, I'm tasting again the deepest melancholy of my soul and loving the bitter, I feel so close to the gods, I'm actually dancing on the razor that separates life and death. The choice between absolute triumph and total rout it's only in my hands. I'm the master of this bloody show.
It's all in my mind.
The whole world.
In my mind.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

DEATH

This is NOT gonna be a remake of J. Stock lecture... this is more likely going to be a requiem, here I cry Giovanni, and with him my 2 grandmothers, never cried enough, and all the special people who left this world.
I will not say they left too early, I do believe people always leave at the right time for them and for the others: there is a time for everything, even for dying. Still, I feel that life without Giovanni will be different, as it has been without my grandmas... people leave an empty niche which will be fill with tears, memories and dreams. People leave a sign in our lives, they become our heros, our stars. Their departure leaves a mark.
But we, the survivals, should keep on going, carry on the show, this bloody empty show, (the show must go on) and make treasure of everything we've learned from the once living. I'll go on, can't stop actually, but I know one little piece of my heart is now gone, in a grave, with him.
Just want to thank for the incommensurable chance I got to know him, thanks for the smiles, the wonderful words, for your happiness, your dedication, your love, thanks for holding my hand that day in church, thanks making me feel special, thanks for having crossed my road, thanks for having lived so closed and yet so far from me, thanks for your life. Thanks, wherever you are now, thank you!!!
And I hope I'll stop crying at a certain point...

"I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye..."

Rest in Peace

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

CAMBRIDGE.....

Here I am, back in the 'Bridge, back to life.
This time, I know how does this life work, I know what to do and how, I know my daily routine...
I can stop worrying about what will happen to me and start to enjoy every single second, every single opportunity...
I realized I have no time for dreams, cose I'm already living one, but also and above all, cose they are what have ruined my life...
No more dream, it's time to size the day...
I'm stronger this time, I know that I can go back to the other half/live and survive...
I know what to do with my time, my life, the academic part of it..
I know what to do with myself
No more fears..
Cambridge saved me.

Friday, January 04, 2008

INCONTRO

Un anno è passato, volato come un battito d'ali o lo schiocco di una frusta...un anno, di cui gli ultimi due mesi sono valsi come una vita, un anno esatto da quando tu, amico mio, bussavi alla mia porta...ah, allora credevo che ogni rintocco del battente fosse un battito di speranza per il mio cuore, allora trepidavo e fremevo e mi preoccupavo di rispondere col tono giusto... oh ci penso ora e come mi sembra futile, che perdita di tempo, perchè mai? cos'era quel tuo bussare infondo? un soffio leggero del vento sulla soglia. Perchè mai m'affannavo a spiarti dalle finestre in ansia? neanche avessi avuto una treccia da gettarti dalla torre, neanche fossi stato tu, il più ardito o valoroso o anche affascinante dei cavalieri. Oh, come mi sembra sciocco ora... e quanto sciocca ero io nell' impiegare così la mia già breve esistenza! Eppure, eppure, in qualche modo amavo discorrere con te, non che fossero vere discussioni, l'arte dell'ascoltare non è mai stata il tuo forte e probabilmente mai lo sarà; e ogni volta mi sorprendeva come riuscissi a fare chilometri per parlare con me e poi decidessi di colpo che avevi di meglio da fare, quel modo brusco con cui ti avvalevi del silenzio per eruttare i tuoi pensieri e poi il tuo sparire così. Io rinchiusa nella torre, senza mai mostrarmi davvero ascoltavo, ridevo anche, non ho mai avuto nessuno che mi ascoltasse e di certo non lo avrei chiesto a te, ma essere zittita così era seccante..... Eppure, eppure, in qualche modo ero felice nella mia beata illusione di essere l'unica, o quasi, a poter scorgere un cuore oltre la corazza e speravo invano di poterti convincere a smettere l'armatura, la difesa e mostrare quell'animo gentile... sciocca illusa, come perdevo il mio tempo! non avevo questi privilegi e mai li avrei avuti, l'unica mia attività era la fantasia, il sogno, e avevo tessuto su di te favole degne di Omero, tutte fandogne, sciocchezze da ragazzina, ora lo so e ne rido..Che motivo avevi tu, di spogliarti di una corazza decennale difronte a una sconosciuta? nessuno...
Eppure, eppure, ti devo ringraziare per aver colorito di poesia momenti altrimenti morti di quest'anno lungo e strano, per avermi fornito, a volte, il carburante, la spinta emozionale gisusta per andare avanti con un sorriso, per godere di un tramonto svedese e apprezzare appieno la gioia del vento alla pelle. Per avermi illusa e accompagnata, per avermi ascoltata per quel poco che sai fare tu, per avermi donato le gioie e i pianti più sinceri di quest'anno. Grazie.

E pensavo dondolato dal vagone,
cara amica il tempo prende, il tempo dà,
noi corriamo sempre in una direzione ma,
quale sia e che senso abbia chi lo sa.

Restano i sogni senza tempo,
le impressioni di un momento,
le luci nel buio intraviste da un treno,
siamo qualcosa che non resta, frasi vuote nella testa,
nel cuore di simboli pieno.