Wednesday, March 12, 2008


Tonight and only tonight, thanks to the wonderful job of Tennessee Williams and Josh, I realized how much have I changed.. and what a beautiful person I've become. It's not a matter of arrogance, just of self consciousness. I used to be a sort of mixture between the shy desperation of Laura Wingfield and the boiling anger/boredom of her brother. I used to see the world through a gigantic glass menagerie. I used to cry. Now, I'm over it, I'm alive. Now I can sit in a theatre and watch all of it and feel distant, free. I'm out, running in the wind, feeling the sun on my skin, knowing that I'm alive. I am a full, autonomous person. That doesn't mean I'm not crashing into every possible mistake ever, no, but this mean I'm happy to crash into mistakes and not terrified of living anymore.
When I came out of the theatre earlier, I was truly happy and walked up castle mound and looked the world down and felt incredibly powerful. The wind was blowing me away, Cambridge under me was shining of lights and history, and I knew this is my place. This is the place I belong to. It was just waiting for me. Or maybe I was waiting for Cambridge to open my mind and heart and blow away the curtain of depression above my eyes. And I, well I sounded my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.