I'm rather pissed off.
with myself first of all.. I should have known my limits, should have remembered that I'm crap at organizing even my own life, should have known I'm fragile and unstable and under stress even if I pretend I'm not.
what was I thinking when I decided to put myself in this?
I'm sure it's gonna work at the end.. but I should have left the job to somebody stronger.
with people secondly.. there's no much they can do.. but they look/sound rather disinterested.. again, should have remembered people can't be bothered, which is a good strategy for survival, but risk sometimes keeps u alive and have a better pay off in the long term (if u don't fail miserably in between, of course..) I like to think that I'm taking a risk... and failing, as usual, but at least I'm doing sth.
with Liz, as a third term of this equation. Because friends are those who dry your tears, and are there when u need help. U can't have my friendship if all that is for u is a biscuit and being silly. Grow up woman, stop giggling and thinking only to your stomach and self-existence. generosity and maturity. that's what u lack.. U can live well enough without them but remember that people get annoyed after having noticed that there's nothing more than childish behaviour that u can offer.
I take it as a test, It's my fault, fair enough, but I will win this challenge and get my price. I don't care. I'll stop being nice and patient I'll be nasty, selfish and get what I want. end of story!!
and Thanks to Bella and Katie for cheering me up and being generally amazing!!!