Beauty

please take a minute, or half an hour, or whatever long it takes, to read this.

I'm still not sure of what to make out of it. 

Desperate for opinions. 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

John Barleycorn must die

Orfeo & Euridice

Orfeo: in tears I was looking, not for her, but for myself. For a destiny, if you like. I was listening to myself. My destiny never betrays. I was looking for myself. There is no other thing people look for. Seen from the side of life, everything is beautiful. But believe someone who has been among the dead. It's not worth it. And you people, keep enjoying the party. Everything is allowed to those who don't know yet. But it's necessary that everyone would go down to their hell. The origin of my destiny ended up in Ade, she ended while singing, according to my ways, life and death.

Bacca: but what does it mean that a destiny never betrays?

Orfeo: it means that it is inside you, it's your treasure; deeper than the blood, beyond every inebriation, no god can touch it. 

By (obviously) C.P. 

missing out

I miss (terribly) arch&anth people. 

I feel like I'm missing out all the archaeology and soch anth fun. 

I miss the people who made my year last year. My mates, my friends. 

I miss girly nights, parties, banter, midnight hot chocolates, castle mound frolics and chats. 

I really need to catch up. But it's not the time, because of bloody exams! 

Oh please please please, all you arch&anthers re-enter my life!!

The God Delusion

I've almost finished Richard Dawkins' highly controversial book. And I must say it's not that great. Well, the first 50/100 pages are just immense! terribly good and witty. The last 200 maybe 300 pages, are pretty good as well, very interesting and with some moments of pure genius and picks of hilarity. But the core chapters are just a bit dull and soaked with a rather too materialistic view. It's too easy to scientifically prove that God doesn't exist. Because God is not scientifically analyzable (in my opinion), you need that spiritual "sth more" to see the presence of God. Richard, however clever and well bred, obviously doesn't have it. Sorry. Oh and he's a bit full of himself too. Let's see how he is in person when he comes to talk to CU BASS. lol

however, I just found this quote which is probably worth the whole book (well, with some other genius-like moments..)

There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning and point.(...) Somebody else must be responsible for my well-being and somebody else must be to blame if I'm hurt. (...) The truly adult view, by contrast, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we chose to make it. And we can make it very wonderful indeed. 

Followed by: 

However brief our time in the sun, if we waste a second of it, or complain that it is dull or barren or boring, could it be seen as a callous insult to those unborn trillions who will never even be offered life in the firs place? (...) The knowledge that we have only one life should make it all the more precious. 

Oh and he uses the word obnoxious as well, which is possibly my word of the week!

Overall a good read.

John Barleycorn must die. 

Answers in Genesis. 

Herzberg and I went down to London to hear this crazy chap talking about creation. Why we did it? God knows. It was like being punched in the face for an hour. Here are my notes, word by word. Enjoy. 

Our Creation museum teaches both points of view, but obviously teaches that one is WRONG!

The 7Cs= Creation, Corruption, Confusion, Catastrophe, Christ, Cross, Communion (not quite sure about the last one...)

"If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?" Psalms, 11:3

Genesis is the foundation of the Bible, if you take it away the whole Bible will collapse. 

I had this argument with a teacher who was saying that Genesis is just symbolic. Just symbolic?? The original sin was not symbolic! Otherwise we would all be symbolic sinners, which doesn't make any sense!! We ARE guilty!!

The holiness of marriage is stated in Genesis too. Because men and women are created from one flesh which reunite in marriage. If, say, we descend from apes, than this meaning is destroyed and all sort of sins can come in, even gay marriage!!

Also, why do you think we have weeks of seven days? Because of the Genesis! The world was created in 7 days, not billion of years!!

If we refute Genesis, than we are mining the authority of God. And we don't want a world in which man is the authority.

Darwin is responsible for the decline of Christianity in the West, especially in the UK. We are losing the Christian basis of the West. (So what?! say I)

We are under the Genesis 3 attack! = when God said "you should no eat for the tree of knowledge!" (is knowledge so terrible?) And the snake then tempted Eve by saying "Did God REALLY say that??"

= not accepting totally the word of God. Even the Church has succumbed to disbelief.

Evolution proves that you can't trust the Bible. 

Obama, in a statement, said that America is not just a Christian nation, but also a jew, moslim etc one. This is the beginning of the end!!

John, 13:2 If you don't believe the earthly things, how can you believe the heavenly things?

= if you don't believe in Genesis, how can you believe in the Gospel??

Those who invented evolution were sinners who needed a justification for not believing in the Bible and thus made up a story. 

The whole theory of evolution stands on the idea that things evolved in billions of years. But billion of years is a concept not even thinkable by the human mind!! there was never all that time.. the world was created in 6 days! (I don't have a problem in thinking million of years. Do u?)

Darwin influenced racism and school violence. In the '40s in america were teaching that we have 5 races. And Pekka-Eric Auvien, left a video in which he was calling himself naturalselector. (Americans are pretty fucked up, so what?!)

Darwin influenced atheism, which is obviously he worst thing in the world. Atheists use Christian who are willing to compromise (like Catholics) to destroy the Christian faith.

Darwin influenced the Church. He's buried in Westminster Abbey, the church is honoring this devil!

Evolution and the problem of death -->If your believe in evolution, you believe that death, suffering, disease etc. existed before Adam's sin. But in the beginning of the creation God said that all he created was good. Are we denying this fact?

Adam's sin is our sin. Everything from that point is our fault. What Hitler did is our fault. Because of the original sin= death. 

+ Geology is false. Layers of rock can be deposited in just 2 days by vulcan eruption. Which happened during the flood. By the same tokens fossils are just the rests of those sinners who died in the flood. God is making them appear= we should interpret it as a sign that a new flood is coming and all get on board of the Christian new Noah's ark..

The worst thing it that the church was packed with people nodding. Oh and kids. 

Now, I don't have a problem with personal believes but a) this was an insult to human logic. b) if that's the dominant power in America we do have a big problem.

Bring back the Middle Ages.

John barlerycorn must die

What is cambridge?

I should be writing an essay but at the moment I feel so frustrated toward people that this terribly deep  thought just stroke me. 

So.. what is Cambridge?

Cambridge is a bubble. A place outside the world, a universe on its own, rounded and perfect. A caleidoscope of opportunity. A platform for any career. A factory for people. Cambridge takes in kids and spits out people after only three years. You get into Cambridge without a clue on how to survive (in most cases at least) and in the space of few months u learn it. Wonder. 

It's not only about learning what you have to learn and do well in exams. It's more about learning how to write emails, and that u need to reply to them quick; enjoying all opportunities or at least as many as u can; interacting with people and creating life-lasting bonding; organizing your time; working in a team; learning that people could be frustrating and useless even when they have to be useful!; learning that friends are often NOT the best people to work with; learning what it feels like to lose and what to win. It's a challenge, to overcome all weaknesses and be strong enough not to be won by crisis and difficulties.

That's why I love it. 

John Barleycorn must die. 

Ciò che Dio unisce, l'uomo non sciolga!

I miss sitting down with music on and writing my heart out. 

I miss pondering over my past day and making resolutions for tomorrow.

I miss sitting with friends talking about politics until 4am.

or talking about God, or war, or whatever really until 4am.

I miss good food.

I miss a good night sleep.

I miss taking the bus to go somewhere... spending hours looking out the window and thinking.

I miss reading novels. 

I miss my bed.

I miss being in control of my life rather than waking up one morning to discover 6 weeks have gone without me noticing.

I miss a good cry.

I miss a good bitch. 

I miss having time to actually feel miserable or happy, rather than getting the feeling I should be miserable but I don't actually have the time.

I don't like my life going so fast. I want it to slow down again. And I want a meaning.. a dream to pull me on. 

need a holiday

I don't get it...

... there is a lot of thing that I don't understand, no matter how hard I try. I'll write down a list before it gets lost in the labyrinth of my mind (dangerous place..). So there u go.. 

I don't understand:

1. ... british poshness and politeness. Not that it isn't fascinating to watch the english but I seriously think they can't be imitated in their manners.

2. ... my political views. I know where I'm standing but at the same time I don't. My dream for a better world is too crazy and peculiar to find people who share it.

3. ... why I'm still too shy to go and talk to my lecturer. especially when I know I really need to.

4. ... the crazy little person in my mind who continuously forces me to make choices I don't fully understand. He (is it a he? bah..) has his own peculiar reasons and is so kind to warn me with dreams before bombing my conscious plans. Still I don't really get what his plans are...

5. ... Evangelic Christians. 

6. ... why I feel the urgent need to break down and cry. Mourning the death of my dream. And all the deaths I haven't had time to mourn properly. 

7. ... evolutionary genetics.

John barleycorn must die

OH DEAR

random thoughts in random order.

1. occupation. Cambridge students are occupying in favour of Gaza. Demanding the intervention of the university. On that point sir: the occupation seems far to civilized to me. They are being very polite and very british. No bombs, vandalism, shouts, incovenients for other students, nothing, just pacific protest. Good Lord! so different from Italy. I didn't go and probably won't. Not because I don't agree but in name of my old good principle of not getting involved. It's either me leading the revolution or me staying at home. I'm there in spirit tho. 

2. I'm here at 4 o'clock in the morning, anguish, a bit of wine and will to course. (not to quote Francesco there..) same silly behaviour. same panic. same me. hell yeah!! but good point is that I'm loving in it. good news innit? I'll probs go to bed in a tick just for kicks, just to forget about all this, cough and die. Good plan. 

In the meantime

John Barleycorn must die 

HAMLET

(or the page-worth of notes I took before going to see the play..)

What was the last time I've been writing?

Bah, months ago. I find myself in the ADC bar with my snotty nose ready run after a dream. Alone. And that dream is not mine anymore. 

Is this a jump in the past? An attempt of resurrecting the dream? 

I'd rather say I'm here for cultural reasons, for Shakespeare. Not that I believe in this but it comes as a consolation in this crazy life. I've been here for less than a week and I already feel the lack of sleep, I'll pay for my late nights. But not now. Now I'm busy running, doing, dreaming, hoping.. and god knows what else. 

It has been months since I last asked myself who I am and in what I believe. 

Do I still believe in something?

***play*** interval***

I believe in Hamlet. 

In beauty. In the immense poetry of a forgotten language; in the joy of understanding, in only a word out of a thousand. I believe in that visage. No, not in THAT visage, I believe in recognizing a visage unknown as it was familiar because I've been hoping in it. I believe in placing my hopes in hope, amen. I believe in running away from reality in any possible way. In the dark of a theatre before the curtains rise and after they fell again. I believe in silence and in the power of the word. In the white page and in the black ink. In the immortality of art. 

It's not a matter of " to be or not to be", it's more a matter of leaving a trace of our passage, or leaving without people noticing. 

Hamlet left a trace of himself.

And I? 

(just realized in Italian it sounded much better.. the trouble of translation..) 

Black Books

Customer: Excuse me?

Bernard: What? What!?

Customer: Do you have anything by Adam Philips?

Bernard: How would I know? Go to a proper bookshop

Customer: Look... there is no other way to say this, but I didn't come here to be insulted!

Bernard: Well, I didn't ask for the job of insulting you. You know, in another life, maybe we could have been brothers, running a small quirky taverna in Sicily. Maybe we would have married the local twins, instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump. But it was not to be... so hop it!

Fran: So what's it like then? The fags and booze.

Bernard: Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking you do sometimes look at yourself and think...

Fran: yep..

Bernard: you know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...

Fran: yep....

Bernard: .... "this is fantastic. I'm in heaven."

Bernard: Do you eat? I do. Do you want to do it in the same room, sometime?

Pondering & Feelings

I fear i got a bit carried away by dreams and thoughts.. as usual. 

And fever doesn't help, for what that matters.. shame.

I should really have learned my lesson by now: DON'T dream over people. 

Just don't. 

Cose reality is gonna hurt a lot more when u compare it to dreams.

Pretty straightforward, isn't it?

Then why can't I just remember it? 

John Barleycorn must die

...DAY-DREAMING...

"... because only in dream and death, oh my poor old man, we can find ourselves..."

Good old Cesare is always right, isn't he? 

We find ourselves only in death, I dare say. And in dream, because dreaming is death. It doesn't kill, it is death itself. The moment u start dreaming u enter the kingdom of death. U find yourself and struggle back, each time a little bit stronger. Each time having lost sth in the process. 

Dreaming is a sweet sweet suicide, that can be reversed if u wish so. 

This past week has been a dreamy week. 

And now I find myself in Ade.

With an essay to write 

and my spirit crying to leave me. 

...back to earth then... 

The Road Not Taken

I increasingly find myself not able to take a decision. Not that I was ever able to do so, but lately this wonderful inability has become a problem. Well, not a real problem. My life goes on smoothly even if I decide that I can't be asked and I'll just go on ignoring that I should have been making important decision. (sounds like a joke, I decide not to the decide.. mmm..) 

Robert Frost keeps up the illusion that my choices have a poetic dimension. But again, they usually involve choosing stuff like "shall I go to a play or to my friend's birthday party?" It's perfectly clear to me which one would be the road less travelled by, but it is at least as clear that if I take it that decision is not gonna make any difference. 

So now, I have to road diverging in front of me.. the less travelled by and the easy one. My contorted and masochist mind would say go straight for the less travelled by and the world can fuck off.. while my kanckered body and lazy heart would rather go for an easy peasy walk, perhaps even with the company of someone to talk to... 

Dilemma. 

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. "I exercise the right not to walk."

SBA

Got the idea.
Got all excited about it. Just like I was for the arch&anth dinner last year.
Started working for it (just because I was unable to concentrate on anything else).
Called for people to help around or at least show a tiny little bit of interested.
Got really crossed cose none seemed interested as much as I am.
Still excited. Still crossed.
Still willing to fight for it even if it will mean a massive crisis like last year and a massive amount of courage.
Still feeling lonely in my fight.
Because I'm not a person of action. I'm the one who sit there and contemplate and wait for the inspiration to write a poem.
But I've learned that u can't just wait for your dreams to magically realized.
U have to fight for them
And I will.
Fight.
Even if I don't like it.
Even if I'd rather sit and wait. and cry.
I'll get it done.

TOP 10

Top 10 people in the world...
well, the 10 people I admire the most or keep the best memory of...or just think are great..


1. Meave Leakey
2. Jane Goodall
3. Marta Mirazon Lahr (God know why she keeps that surname)
3. Robert Foley
5. Jay Stock
6. Francesco Guccini
7. Adam Jones
8. Massimo Bonola (nonostante tutto)
9. Gobetti (and all the partisans)
10. James Galway

FRIDGE MAGNET POEM

I've hoped, against hope,
one last time.
I've rejoiced in the happy illusion
and my heart cried with disappointment
when the evidence
(damned reality so crude and dry!)
proved I was wrong.
What now?
It's not a big deal
I know how to rise again from the ground
bring on Baccus and Tobaccus,
bring on happy desperation,
bring on life!

Song of the day,

Massimo di Cataldo, "se adesso te ne vai."

ESSAY BREAK

... bored of un-identified australopithecine bones I've opted for something slightly more fun. It goes like this: do u remember Amelie? the very beginning, when the voice lists 3 things that Amelie's parents love and hate.. I've always thought it is a good way of describing a person, u get a detailed idea of that person's personality (far too many "person" in this sentence...) only through what they like or not. so here we go.. Marghe's 3 Love & Hate

Love
pulling little stone out of my shoes soles (preferably with a pen)
smoking outside fitz at night and having small conversations with drunk fitzbillies who walk in in gown
waking up in the middle of the night getting the feeling I'm the only person awake in the world and stalk out of the window to see Fitz asleep

Hate
painted feet finger nails
getting the feeling to have done sth wrong
being forced to avoid people.

Of course there's a lot more to it.. but I did have only 3 spaces.. I'll write another list pretty soon...

John Barleycorn must die

CHAOS

Good old cambridge, good old chaos.
Looks like I'm not able to stay in the same place for longer than a few months. Not that I dislike it but I feel I could hurt people around me.
Point is: people just bore me. After a while. Whenever I get the feeling somebody is getting close enough to "touch my heart" (just not to quote Patty...) I turn round and run. Fact. And right before running I do all that is in my power to hurt that person, and show how cold, cruel, vicious and unpleasant I can be. So that I leave only surprise and a nasty taste behind me. And then, as said , I run. Fact.
people always try to make me stay, or at least understand. Waste of time.
I myself have tried to understand, but no explanation is satisfactory.
I'm like the dog that lets u stroke him until your face is close enough and then bites. Right there.

CAVE CANEM

John Barleycorn must die

HOME

back in the Bridge. Not much to say actually.. just that I'm increasingly realizing how much my life is driven by feelings and sensations.. I definitely make my choices only (well, almost only ) on the basis of feelings I get when I visit a place or meet someone. Going back to the LCHES today I felt home, a weird feeling tbh, and suddenly remembered how I've always felt home in that place. ergo, I probably chose to do bioanth just because of the feeling I get from that friendly environment... but, it is a good way of making choices? and most of all, will I always be able to find places where I feel home so much?
God knows..
... bioanth is the way forward for the time being tho!

John Barleycorn must die.