Poesie

E' quel periodo dell'anno in cui cominci a tirare le somme, guardarti indietro e decidere cosa salvare e cosa migliorare degli ultimi dodici mesi. Ancora non sono in quel processo, perchè.. beh, perchè ancora ho 5 giorni di quest'anno bislacco e poi perchè tra una mangiata e l'altra il mio cervello è troppo saturo per pensare. Tuttavia, ieri sera tra la zia che stava male e la mia personale depressione mi sentivo un pò giù... ma ecco che il quadernetto delle mie poesie di quando avevo tipo 16 anni è comparso magicamente! quindi l'ho preso, spolverato e cominciato a leggere.. non per tirarmela ma alcune sono proprio belle!!! insomma.. x avere avuto 16 anni erano dei capolavori..Ne riproporrei una, giusto perchè parla del tempo..

Volerò fino a te un giorno di questi

e ti canterò la mia anima.

Promesse e illusioni

di una vita rubata

al tiranno tempo.

Scivola via, come l'acqua

di un fiume sulle rocce

tingendosi dei colori dell'autunno

portandoli, fino alla primavera.

E di nuovo il giorno

e la notte

incalza, e si spegne

in un soffio di luna.

Emozioni vane

cambiano al ritmo

dell'implacabile lancetta.

La vita è un sospiro

portato dal vento:

nulla si salva.

Ne vale la pena?

Troverai la risposta

e sarai già cenere,

o sprecherai in pianti

i secondi risparmiati.

Nulla sopravvive.

In un attimo, il tuo animo

è già lettere incise sulla fredda pietra

o un semplice suono

citato a giovani menti incolte.

Ma lasciati dare un consglio:

l'amore sopravvive

unico, sulla morte furente:

ama! e vivrai in eterno.

Il tempo inclemente è figlio dell'universo,

l'amore ne è padre:

non prevarrà l'inesperto fanciullo

contro il vecchio saggio,

lasciati avvolgere da esso

e non morrai.

-30 novembre 2004-

Political Thoughts in Random Order

Almost a week today Berlusconi was hit with a souvenir of the Duomo, right in front of the same church. Result: two broken teeth, broken lip, broken nose. I do not wish to comment on that: too many words have already be spent on the topic. I will only say that hearing of it from my shocked and almost crying granddad, it did sound like a bit of a joke.

Unfortunately, it wasn't. I take the fact as the action of a unstable person who - like most of us - got fed up with dwarf in front of him and - unlike the rest of us - reacted by throwing something at him. The end. But watching TV this past week I learned that this is far from being what happened. No. What really happened is that the opposition has being "creating a climate of hate and violence never seen before. They have instigated people to hate Berlusconi as a person and not as a politician and this is extremely dangerous." Maybe. True, I did miss two months of the panthomime that is italian politics but the few political discussions I did follow seemed as rude and uncivilized as ever. No big change there. So?

So every single member of the government has been emphasizing the role of such "climate of hate and violence" in the aggression. So much that one wonders if they are just playing a well rehearsed part or if they have been totally brainwashed. Mis Maria Stella Gelmini - with her bright purple glasses - has stated, full of passion and true adoration as she was, that the opposition is invidious of Berlusconi, his strength and personality, his immense political power and his being generally amazing. Quite a sad show if you want my opinion. This woman, I remind you, is the minister for education. The first thing she did as soon as she was elected (no, not elected, whatever) was to cut funding to universities, the second to cut the number of teachers in primary school, the last to cut the number of subject taught in high school. Probably the least liked minister of education in the past decade, and we had some seriously bad ones.

Anyway, back to the point. The aggression could happen also because of some inefficiency of the security around our prime minister. No doubt on that. 24 men failing to protect the only person they needed to protect, means that something went wrong. Even if only slightly. Last time I watched TV, an eminent member of Berlusconi's party was vehemently arguing against the silly journalistic idea to give a bit of attention to the faults of security. It's not relevant he shouts, we should focus only on the climate of hate and violence created by the opposition against our prime minister. Why is maintaining such climate so important for the government, I wonder?

But now we get to the interesting point. A week before this mess took place, a consistent amount of people (their website says a million, but I couldn't check it.) in Italy and around Europe took part in the No Berluscony Day. To organize so many people you need internet, don't u? Also, apparently on Facebook there were a few groups against Berlusconi, we are told these groups were very violent in tones. But don't try to search these groups now, they don't exist anymore. Because Facebook is the new devil (communism was a bit outfashioned it would seem), so the government is taking emergency measures to be able to control the web and close down dangerous sites. I don't know exactly how they will define a site dangerous, but I can easily imagine some of their criteria. Checking the PDL website it would appear that exponents of the party has already contacted Facebook managers to ask for collaboration in this attempt to stop this climate of violence. Still waiting for major reactions to this news. So far very few people seem to care about this.

In the meanwhile the law for short trials seem to be likely to pass, hence the whole of the parliament has agreed that rather than having hundreds of criminals outside prison it is better sorting out a law at personam to keep Berlusconi safe another 3 years.

In the meanwhile someone placed a bomb in a corridor of Bocconi University in Milan. It exploded at 3am the day after the aggression to SB, causing minor damages to a wall. A note with it signed FAI. TV news has been talking for days about this FAI = Federazione Anarchica Informale, supposedly responsible for about 20 bombs in the past 10 years. The whole thing sounded a bit wrong so I checked. Guess what? This Federazione Anarchica Informale does not exist. What exist is the Federazione Anarchica Italian who does not claim responsibility for, but on the contrary condemn the bomb.

Now, I'd better go and read their website more in depth before it is shut down.

Almost no mention of Copenhagen during this week.

John Barleycorn must Die.

Dejavou

Yesterday Nathan was feeling down and started walking towards the infinite, with me trotting along his side. Not a word was spoken. Just constant, blind, fury. All the way to the motorway, with Tesco's at sight. Silence.

And walking obstinately against the freezing night I remembered.

Remembered my own agonies - not that long ago - my afternoons spent with knife and wine as only companions, my anger against the person I was (and to be honest still am..). And I wanted to say something. To break the wall and console his sorrow. But realized, halfway through the thought, that none can break the wall. There is no word or smile that can heal your wounds...

and I felt old, a veteran of this, used to the practice almost to boredom but yet, a bit outside the circle at times. Actually most times. Me, of all people. Me, who only thursday considered the scissors while drinking from the bottle....

sitting by the highway watching the traffic, it felt like going back in time with the full moon witnessing our mad attempt to stop time in one tear.

at the end we came back, frozen to the bone, dancing on that bitter cheerfulness that only death leaves.

Walked into Ariadne's warm room and felt like another world. Colourful and happy. And she was in another world. The good old pathetic world that does not understand, not even trying hard, because they don't know how to understand. Or what to understand. And she wanted apologies, wanted me to ask him to stop drinking. My God. Who is she to ask that? She obviously doesn't know....... lived her cosy life for 20 years, without accidents. Warm in her pink douve playing the party of the worried friend. I felt tipsy and spaced out.

I definitely prefer the night. Cold and bitter. The bites of deadly agony occasionally calling from the inside, wanting their share of my life. The feeling that I'm in a war, in which whatever ending is determined by me.... lols. The wind in my face. The struggle.

John Barleycorn must die.

God Bless Georgia

There are some things that you have been told over and over again, understood, but never quite fully assimilated until you try them on your own skin. During my month in Georgia I finally tried on my skin a number of things that I used to take for granted without fully knowing them... so here they are, in no particular order:

• You never quite fully appreciate the immense challenges of measuring a meter squared before starting an archaeological dig.
• You also never fully appreciate the concept of dust before starting an archaeological dig.
• Homo Sapiens Sapiens is one single species all over the world, and despite small cultural differences (which make the exploration all the more interesting tbh) we are all essentially the same..
• ... as a result I now firmly believe that if a good percentage of individuals would take the trouble to go in a different country and spend a period of time sharing their lives with people there we might be able to have no more wars.
• The problem with this is governments. But that is precisely why we need to get rid of them and find a better solution.
• The less you have the more generous you are.
• The Georgian way, is better than any other way I've experienced so far.
• Western countries lack (and terribly so!) in human contact, listening, generosity, altruism, social grooming and all that.
• There is no money in the world that could ever buy nights spent with friends drinking and toasting for everything that matters.
• Karl Marx might have had a nice idea but the most famous attempt to put it into practice not only was an epic failure but also a way of destroying culture and diversity.
• When all animals are equal some animals are always more equal than others.
• When equality is imposed it means been all equal in misery.. you really need to see the Georgian landscape scattered with grey concrete houses which are all identical to understand this.
• Now finally Communism is dead and we can all feel free to drink Coke and go to MacDonalds, or better, drink coke in MacDonalds.
• Or in other words, there is something in the human nature that makes us want to be all the same, but only if we have the illusion of being free to chose to be homologated.
• My defense walls of cynicism, egoism and strength can be broken down. Indeed they have been destroyed and - amazingly enough- not only I've survived but I'm also probably a better person.
• There is something in the human nature that makes you want to spend your life with one and only one person. Even if the world is full of fit rugby players. Even if that would make you spend less time with your friends and put some limits to your freedom.
• "Sometimes love just ain't enough"
• God exists.

John Barleycorn must die.

Beauty

please take a minute, or half an hour, or whatever long it takes, to read this.

I'm still not sure of what to make out of it. 

Desperate for opinions. 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

John Barleycorn must die

Orfeo & Euridice

Orfeo: in tears I was looking, not for her, but for myself. For a destiny, if you like. I was listening to myself. My destiny never betrays. I was looking for myself. There is no other thing people look for. Seen from the side of life, everything is beautiful. But believe someone who has been among the dead. It's not worth it. And you people, keep enjoying the party. Everything is allowed to those who don't know yet. But it's necessary that everyone would go down to their hell. The origin of my destiny ended up in Ade, she ended while singing, according to my ways, life and death.

Bacca: but what does it mean that a destiny never betrays?

Orfeo: it means that it is inside you, it's your treasure; deeper than the blood, beyond every inebriation, no god can touch it. 

By (obviously) C.P. 

missing out

I miss (terribly) arch&anth people. 

I feel like I'm missing out all the archaeology and soch anth fun. 

I miss the people who made my year last year. My mates, my friends. 

I miss girly nights, parties, banter, midnight hot chocolates, castle mound frolics and chats. 

I really need to catch up. But it's not the time, because of bloody exams! 

Oh please please please, all you arch&anthers re-enter my life!!

The God Delusion

I've almost finished Richard Dawkins' highly controversial book. And I must say it's not that great. Well, the first 50/100 pages are just immense! terribly good and witty. The last 200 maybe 300 pages, are pretty good as well, very interesting and with some moments of pure genius and picks of hilarity. But the core chapters are just a bit dull and soaked with a rather too materialistic view. It's too easy to scientifically prove that God doesn't exist. Because God is not scientifically analyzable (in my opinion), you need that spiritual "sth more" to see the presence of God. Richard, however clever and well bred, obviously doesn't have it. Sorry. Oh and he's a bit full of himself too. Let's see how he is in person when he comes to talk to CU BASS. lol

however, I just found this quote which is probably worth the whole book (well, with some other genius-like moments..)

There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning and point.(...) Somebody else must be responsible for my well-being and somebody else must be to blame if I'm hurt. (...) The truly adult view, by contrast, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we chose to make it. And we can make it very wonderful indeed. 

Followed by: 

However brief our time in the sun, if we waste a second of it, or complain that it is dull or barren or boring, could it be seen as a callous insult to those unborn trillions who will never even be offered life in the firs place? (...) The knowledge that we have only one life should make it all the more precious. 

Oh and he uses the word obnoxious as well, which is possibly my word of the week!

Overall a good read.

John Barleycorn must die. 

Answers in Genesis. 

Herzberg and I went down to London to hear this crazy chap talking about creation. Why we did it? God knows. It was like being punched in the face for an hour. Here are my notes, word by word. Enjoy. 

Our Creation museum teaches both points of view, but obviously teaches that one is WRONG!

The 7Cs= Creation, Corruption, Confusion, Catastrophe, Christ, Cross, Communion (not quite sure about the last one...)

"If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?" Psalms, 11:3

Genesis is the foundation of the Bible, if you take it away the whole Bible will collapse. 

I had this argument with a teacher who was saying that Genesis is just symbolic. Just symbolic?? The original sin was not symbolic! Otherwise we would all be symbolic sinners, which doesn't make any sense!! We ARE guilty!!

The holiness of marriage is stated in Genesis too. Because men and women are created from one flesh which reunite in marriage. If, say, we descend from apes, than this meaning is destroyed and all sort of sins can come in, even gay marriage!!

Also, why do you think we have weeks of seven days? Because of the Genesis! The world was created in 7 days, not billion of years!!

If we refute Genesis, than we are mining the authority of God. And we don't want a world in which man is the authority.

Darwin is responsible for the decline of Christianity in the West, especially in the UK. We are losing the Christian basis of the West. (So what?! say I)

We are under the Genesis 3 attack! = when God said "you should no eat for the tree of knowledge!" (is knowledge so terrible?) And the snake then tempted Eve by saying "Did God REALLY say that??"

= not accepting totally the word of God. Even the Church has succumbed to disbelief.

Evolution proves that you can't trust the Bible. 

Obama, in a statement, said that America is not just a Christian nation, but also a jew, moslim etc one. This is the beginning of the end!!

John, 13:2 If you don't believe the earthly things, how can you believe the heavenly things?

= if you don't believe in Genesis, how can you believe in the Gospel??

Those who invented evolution were sinners who needed a justification for not believing in the Bible and thus made up a story. 

The whole theory of evolution stands on the idea that things evolved in billions of years. But billion of years is a concept not even thinkable by the human mind!! there was never all that time.. the world was created in 6 days! (I don't have a problem in thinking million of years. Do u?)

Darwin influenced racism and school violence. In the '40s in america were teaching that we have 5 races. And Pekka-Eric Auvien, left a video in which he was calling himself naturalselector. (Americans are pretty fucked up, so what?!)

Darwin influenced atheism, which is obviously he worst thing in the world. Atheists use Christian who are willing to compromise (like Catholics) to destroy the Christian faith.

Darwin influenced the Church. He's buried in Westminster Abbey, the church is honoring this devil!

Evolution and the problem of death -->If your believe in evolution, you believe that death, suffering, disease etc. existed before Adam's sin. But in the beginning of the creation God said that all he created was good. Are we denying this fact?

Adam's sin is our sin. Everything from that point is our fault. What Hitler did is our fault. Because of the original sin= death. 

+ Geology is false. Layers of rock can be deposited in just 2 days by vulcan eruption. Which happened during the flood. By the same tokens fossils are just the rests of those sinners who died in the flood. God is making them appear= we should interpret it as a sign that a new flood is coming and all get on board of the Christian new Noah's ark..

The worst thing it that the church was packed with people nodding. Oh and kids. 

Now, I don't have a problem with personal believes but a) this was an insult to human logic. b) if that's the dominant power in America we do have a big problem.

Bring back the Middle Ages.

John barlerycorn must die

What is cambridge?

I should be writing an essay but at the moment I feel so frustrated toward people that this terribly deep  thought just stroke me. 

So.. what is Cambridge?

Cambridge is a bubble. A place outside the world, a universe on its own, rounded and perfect. A caleidoscope of opportunity. A platform for any career. A factory for people. Cambridge takes in kids and spits out people after only three years. You get into Cambridge without a clue on how to survive (in most cases at least) and in the space of few months u learn it. Wonder. 

It's not only about learning what you have to learn and do well in exams. It's more about learning how to write emails, and that u need to reply to them quick; enjoying all opportunities or at least as many as u can; interacting with people and creating life-lasting bonding; organizing your time; working in a team; learning that people could be frustrating and useless even when they have to be useful!; learning that friends are often NOT the best people to work with; learning what it feels like to lose and what to win. It's a challenge, to overcome all weaknesses and be strong enough not to be won by crisis and difficulties.

That's why I love it. 

John Barleycorn must die. 

Ciò che Dio unisce, l'uomo non sciolga!

I miss sitting down with music on and writing my heart out. 

I miss pondering over my past day and making resolutions for tomorrow.

I miss sitting with friends talking about politics until 4am.

or talking about God, or war, or whatever really until 4am.

I miss good food.

I miss a good night sleep.

I miss taking the bus to go somewhere... spending hours looking out the window and thinking.

I miss reading novels. 

I miss my bed.

I miss being in control of my life rather than waking up one morning to discover 6 weeks have gone without me noticing.

I miss a good cry.

I miss a good bitch. 

I miss having time to actually feel miserable or happy, rather than getting the feeling I should be miserable but I don't actually have the time.

I don't like my life going so fast. I want it to slow down again. And I want a meaning.. a dream to pull me on. 

need a holiday

I don't get it...

... there is a lot of thing that I don't understand, no matter how hard I try. I'll write down a list before it gets lost in the labyrinth of my mind (dangerous place..). So there u go.. 

I don't understand:

1. ... british poshness and politeness. Not that it isn't fascinating to watch the english but I seriously think they can't be imitated in their manners.

2. ... my political views. I know where I'm standing but at the same time I don't. My dream for a better world is too crazy and peculiar to find people who share it.

3. ... why I'm still too shy to go and talk to my lecturer. especially when I know I really need to.

4. ... the crazy little person in my mind who continuously forces me to make choices I don't fully understand. He (is it a he? bah..) has his own peculiar reasons and is so kind to warn me with dreams before bombing my conscious plans. Still I don't really get what his plans are...

5. ... Evangelic Christians. 

6. ... why I feel the urgent need to break down and cry. Mourning the death of my dream. And all the deaths I haven't had time to mourn properly. 

7. ... evolutionary genetics.

John barleycorn must die

OH DEAR

random thoughts in random order.

1. occupation. Cambridge students are occupying in favour of Gaza. Demanding the intervention of the university. On that point sir: the occupation seems far to civilized to me. They are being very polite and very british. No bombs, vandalism, shouts, incovenients for other students, nothing, just pacific protest. Good Lord! so different from Italy. I didn't go and probably won't. Not because I don't agree but in name of my old good principle of not getting involved. It's either me leading the revolution or me staying at home. I'm there in spirit tho. 

2. I'm here at 4 o'clock in the morning, anguish, a bit of wine and will to course. (not to quote Francesco there..) same silly behaviour. same panic. same me. hell yeah!! but good point is that I'm loving in it. good news innit? I'll probs go to bed in a tick just for kicks, just to forget about all this, cough and die. Good plan. 

In the meantime

John Barleycorn must die 

HAMLET

(or the page-worth of notes I took before going to see the play..)

What was the last time I've been writing?

Bah, months ago. I find myself in the ADC bar with my snotty nose ready run after a dream. Alone. And that dream is not mine anymore. 

Is this a jump in the past? An attempt of resurrecting the dream? 

I'd rather say I'm here for cultural reasons, for Shakespeare. Not that I believe in this but it comes as a consolation in this crazy life. I've been here for less than a week and I already feel the lack of sleep, I'll pay for my late nights. But not now. Now I'm busy running, doing, dreaming, hoping.. and god knows what else. 

It has been months since I last asked myself who I am and in what I believe. 

Do I still believe in something?

***play*** interval***

I believe in Hamlet. 

In beauty. In the immense poetry of a forgotten language; in the joy of understanding, in only a word out of a thousand. I believe in that visage. No, not in THAT visage, I believe in recognizing a visage unknown as it was familiar because I've been hoping in it. I believe in placing my hopes in hope, amen. I believe in running away from reality in any possible way. In the dark of a theatre before the curtains rise and after they fell again. I believe in silence and in the power of the word. In the white page and in the black ink. In the immortality of art. 

It's not a matter of " to be or not to be", it's more a matter of leaving a trace of our passage, or leaving without people noticing. 

Hamlet left a trace of himself.

And I? 

(just realized in Italian it sounded much better.. the trouble of translation..)