Pondering & Feelings

I fear i got a bit carried away by dreams and thoughts.. as usual. 

And fever doesn't help, for what that matters.. shame.

I should really have learned my lesson by now: DON'T dream over people. 

Just don't. 

Cose reality is gonna hurt a lot more when u compare it to dreams.

Pretty straightforward, isn't it?

Then why can't I just remember it? 

John Barleycorn must die

...DAY-DREAMING...

"... because only in dream and death, oh my poor old man, we can find ourselves..."

Good old Cesare is always right, isn't he? 

We find ourselves only in death, I dare say. And in dream, because dreaming is death. It doesn't kill, it is death itself. The moment u start dreaming u enter the kingdom of death. U find yourself and struggle back, each time a little bit stronger. Each time having lost sth in the process. 

Dreaming is a sweet sweet suicide, that can be reversed if u wish so. 

This past week has been a dreamy week. 

And now I find myself in Ade.

With an essay to write 

and my spirit crying to leave me. 

...back to earth then... 

The Road Not Taken

I increasingly find myself not able to take a decision. Not that I was ever able to do so, but lately this wonderful inability has become a problem. Well, not a real problem. My life goes on smoothly even if I decide that I can't be asked and I'll just go on ignoring that I should have been making important decision. (sounds like a joke, I decide not to the decide.. mmm..) 

Robert Frost keeps up the illusion that my choices have a poetic dimension. But again, they usually involve choosing stuff like "shall I go to a play or to my friend's birthday party?" It's perfectly clear to me which one would be the road less travelled by, but it is at least as clear that if I take it that decision is not gonna make any difference. 

So now, I have to road diverging in front of me.. the less travelled by and the easy one. My contorted and masochist mind would say go straight for the less travelled by and the world can fuck off.. while my kanckered body and lazy heart would rather go for an easy peasy walk, perhaps even with the company of someone to talk to... 

Dilemma. 

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. "I exercise the right not to walk."

SBA

Got the idea.
Got all excited about it. Just like I was for the arch&anth dinner last year.
Started working for it (just because I was unable to concentrate on anything else).
Called for people to help around or at least show a tiny little bit of interested.
Got really crossed cose none seemed interested as much as I am.
Still excited. Still crossed.
Still willing to fight for it even if it will mean a massive crisis like last year and a massive amount of courage.
Still feeling lonely in my fight.
Because I'm not a person of action. I'm the one who sit there and contemplate and wait for the inspiration to write a poem.
But I've learned that u can't just wait for your dreams to magically realized.
U have to fight for them
And I will.
Fight.
Even if I don't like it.
Even if I'd rather sit and wait. and cry.
I'll get it done.

TOP 10

Top 10 people in the world...
well, the 10 people I admire the most or keep the best memory of...or just think are great..


1. Meave Leakey
2. Jane Goodall
3. Marta Mirazon Lahr (God know why she keeps that surname)
3. Robert Foley
5. Jay Stock
6. Francesco Guccini
7. Adam Jones
8. Massimo Bonola (nonostante tutto)
9. Gobetti (and all the partisans)
10. James Galway